There are three foundational emotional bulwarks (defensive walls) that every single human being has experienced in one form or another, over the course of their lives.
The goal of these bulwarks/defensive walls is not to keep an enemy out… but instead to shield us from feeling own emotional lives and hurt, painful feelings.
It is based on a primitive survival instinct which makes it possible for us to venture out of the cave to hunt for food… After almost being eaten by the food we were hunting yesterday….
Bear with me on this as what I am attempting to describe is an Emotional/Spiritual Principle… By their nature, any principle is difficult to nail down usually because they are so large and encompassing.
For instance, take the principles of electricity, every single human on the planet uses electricity in one form or another… from digital wrist watches to cell phones, tablets, computers, lighting, cars, lasers, and thousands more applications. All operating by, and functions governed, under the immutable Principles (laws of physics) of electricity.
It is easy to lose sight of the underlying Principles of electricity because it is used in so many different shapes and forms… it is the ultimate shape shifter. It is used in tiny fractional voltages, mill-amps, which are virtually undetectable… To mega massive steel ore “Arc” furnaces consuming 132 Mega-Watt hours of power to melt scrap metal… when these monsters are switched on…all the lights flicker in the neighborhood…
The same scale/scope is true when discussing any Spiritual/Emotional/Psyche Principles that influence and/or govern human behaviors. The underlying principles are the same… but they have thousands of different facets (parts and pieces) that make the whole thing a unified principle… Sort of like the Elephant Principle.
Elephants are so big; you cannot see the entire animal from one position… The front view is so vastly different than the rear view… that the only way to fully understand the Elephant is to walk 360 degrees around the animal… understanding the many different views and parts that make up a complete Elephant or Principle… without this appreciation of how big Principles and Elephants can be… one’s knowledge of such matters could be Half-Assed (as in never made it all the way round from the rear view)
Now back to the three defensive walls that emotionally shield/detour us from looking deeply into ourselves and our motivations… we do this by focusing on things outside of Ourselves.
It is important to remember that these traits are primitive basic motivators that are expressed in thousands of diverse ways… but (more or less) originate in/from the same place. By “reverse engineering” our feeling, actions, attitudes, and current understandings… we can find their source (principle of understanding) where they are originating from… and understand their ongoing affects/influence upon our lives.
Here are the first three I want to throw out…
1) The best way to instantly feel good about yourself and ignore any sad things in your own life… is to tear someone else down.
2) The next best way to feel good about yourself and further distance yourself from the terrible things in your own life… is to join a “Righteous Cause” … against the people you are tearing down in step #1.
3) The ultimate way to feel good about yourself no matter what is sideways in your own life…is to join in aggressive/violent Mob/Group action… in the name of the righteous cause …against the people you are tearing down in the beginning.
The most confusing thing about these primitive motivator’s is they are the apex of both “Good” and “Evil” … the dividing line between the two …is the Person’s underlying Intent.
We all have seen civil unrest/protests that become “Mindless,” resulting in random violence, riotous behavior usually robbing, murder and looting of the innocence… and causing insane mayhem, including massive amounts of litter… all despite the “Righteous Nature” of the cause being protested…
These would be the actions of people motivated not so much by the righteous cause… but more so by the desire to escape themselves and Vent the pain and dysfunction of their lives, through the process outlined above… rather than address the root causes that are in their power to change… enabling them to seek remedy for the things currently out of their control/ability to change.
On the Flipside, the very same principles outlined above, have had great unifying effects, bringing amazingly different peoples, cultures, religious beliefs, ethnicities, genders together in civil unrest/protests but with a focused “Mindfulness” where the vast majority of the people involved… are peaceful, law-abiding, focused, clear minded and effective at expressing themselves/their cause…all without even littering…
These would be the actions of people who are (more or less) at peace with themselves and are focused on the righteous cause more so than the “Feel Good” venting that motivates other groups.
Since humans are always a mash-up of mental, spiritual, and emotional health and illness…
It is, and forever will be, impossible to “Pigeonhole” or classify all humans into this, that, or the other thing categories… because we are all so uniquely and beautifully different… along with all of us… being messed up to some degree.
Since there are none among us righteous enough to Judge/Guide/Teach all the rest of us… so that we may all acquire equal understanding… equal opportunity to change our lives by changing ourselves… and equality of opportunity to influence our government… without violence and mayhem…
WE will need to do the job ourselves… we will need to learn how to teach/share with each other… but since you cannot give away what you do not have…just like you cannot teach what you do not understand… The very first thing we will need to do is to learn how to listen…then listen to learn… about ourselves, the people around us, and our unity with the world surrounding us.
When my Sponsor tried to explain this aspect of life to me, I got highly pissed off and offended and told him, loud enough so I was sure he heard me… that I had two good ears and could “Listen” just fine!
He calmly told me “Gregory, you can HEAR, the horns honking, the birds chirping and your boss cussing… but you have not yet learned to listen… at least not effectively, even though you are a very quick study in most things.”
At that moment I realized that I had just received a backhanded compliment from my sponsor “Uncle Ralph.” In our almost five years of working together, at that point, I had come to learn a statement like that was usually the herald of a major growth opportunity coming my way… “If” I chose to do the work of learning it at depth… new life and living principles, which could enrich my life, were going to be coming my way shortly… If I continued down this road with him…
Uncle Ralph never told me to do anything, never made demands of me, never told me that I had to understand or believe anything he was sharing with me, as part of our Sponsor/Sponsee relationship. But he did make suggestions, and shared his experience with drugs, alcohol, and life… that saved me from an alcoholic/addict’s miserable life and eventual death… Which, for me was only days away… when Uncle Ralph first took me under his wing, after I stumbled into a 12-step meeting in Baltimore in late 1987.
He was a perfect teacher, always sharing with me freely and openly…
But I was required to ask, it was my job “To Seek” what he knew… It was not a game of hide and seek… it was/is life or the most miserable of deaths…
He mentioned that if I only recognized that “I needed what he had” … I might get clean and sober for a short while… but in time I would most likely fail again (which had happened in past attempts).
However, if “I wanted what he had, for myself” it would add a much greater depth of learning/understanding that would help keep me clean and sober for the long haul.
I have come to learn that Human learning follows the same pattern… If we “Need” to do something… our experience is usually shallow compared to “Wanting” to do the same something with our whole heart and mind.
In our world today of 2024 the “Need To Do’s” out number the “Want To Do’s” in most people’s lives, and we have forgotten the flipside of our existence as most of us only “Hear” nowadays rather than using the art of “Listening as our primary means of Learning.
How else can our world have gotten so Polarized? Are the “Others” really crazy and Evil people?
Our views/understanding of each other is now 180 degrees apart, and instead of trying to understand/learn our common ground… we are building hate and discontent between us.
I am NOT a moderate… I am a Mechanic, I see and understand how things, including people, work… I can tell when something is out of alignment, out of tune and flat out broken…Before the wheels fall off.
This section of How Greg Sees It, “Did You Know” is going to be about looking at things differently… I do not know everything there is to Know…
But I have learned over the years that if I/we keep an Open Mind… Are willing to learn new things, and are Rigerously Honest/Sincere with what I/we say and share… We will come damn close to knowing everything… and surly enough to manage whatever dilemma is facing “Us” as individuals, as a Town, and as a Country.
Greg B.